From the "Paying for Your Sins" chapter of
From Gigolo To Jesus
I wanted to share this with you because someone needed to read this at this moment.
"When you grow in your faith, there has to be accountability for your behavior. That lesson transcends across all of the different beliefs. You can't live your life negatively and not expect that there be some type of penalties. As a Christian, you learn that the wages of sin are death, but I think people take it too general. We all know that once we are born, we are destined to die, but have you ever thought of death as being more than the end of our physical being?There's also the death of privacy. Choosing to be with so many women meant choosing to share information that should have been shared with just my wife. Some women have an intimate knowledge of me they didn't deserve. That means they share something with my wife that they should never have and I have to live with that. I try to make up for that by loving my wife with everything I have inside of me. She knows what she has is more significant than anything other women can say.There's also the death of privacy. Choosing to be with so many women meant choosing to share information that should have been shared with just my wife. Some women have an intimate knowledge of me they didn't deserve. That means they share something with my wife that they should never have and I have to live with that. I try to make up for that by loving my wife with everything I have inside of me. She knows what she has is more significant than anything other women can say.Yes, they may know about me sexually, but they will never have felt what it is to have unadulterated love with me. We push to make sure that love between us is unwavering. My wife means that much to me, and so I make a habit that wherever I go, I talk about the role she plays in my life. I try to be transparent so folks can understand I regret the life that I lived before her, but I cannot change the past. Instead, I live to enjoy what my wife brings to our marriage. "K. L. Belvin, a former Whore, turned loving Father, Husband, and Man of God
If you need someone to talk with reach out and let set up a counseling session to try to figure what you need, together.
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